The Secret’s Out: I’m a Shit “Travel Blogger”

People can justify anything.

If you’re feeling creative enough; things like infidelity, cannibalism, and even littering can all seem pretty excusable.

Perhaps I’m purposefully confusing “justifications” with “imaginative explanations.”

I tend to do that sometimes. You know, mix up definitions. Mispronounce words. Mistake word-unions which I ingeniously created some night and have been using ever since, for actual established dictionary entries. (Read: the feeling of hanger, using the word “tops” to describe things other than a t-shirt, and occasionally spelling “your” with an “e” instead of those other two vowels.)

Admittedly, I also pause every single time I’m about to use “invisible” or “invincible” in a sentence. I will often do a quick Webster’s brain-check to make sure I’m using the correct one and then just kind of mumble one of them and hope for the best. And for some reason, these words come up A LOT in my daily vocabulary.

See? There I go again.

I just tried to justify my brainless mistakes by making myself seem all quirky and forgetful. But, seriously. I have never even bothered to look up invisible/ invincible in a dictionary.

I’m lazy.

And that, forgiving readers and those choosing to waste internet time on a blog like this, is exactly why this space has been dormant for the last month.

I’m lazy in the sense that sometimes, I would just rather be doing things than writing about them. (In actuality, that’s really not laziness at all, but I’ve got a theme going here and I don’t really want to waste it.)

Which is actually quite strange. Because next to the joy I experience from explaining why I don’t know how to pronounce “ambiguous,” I actually quite like writing.

So I got lazy. And for those who have never experienced the feeling of being lethargic (Tony Robbins, Carrot Top, Jimmy Fallon most days of the week), laziness can be a real dick.

Being lazy can produce these ultimate moments of self-reflection. But because you can’t be bothered to internally reflect on anything in fear of exuding even a breath of effort, you consequently can get quite down on yourself.

Battling an internal dialogue of my intentions with this blog, coupled with the suffocating overtones of apathy, I questioned myself a lot.

If I really hated a place, would I accurately write about it?

If I pulled some stupid stunt with less than favourable outcomes (but makes for a generally amusing story), would I bare the wrath of judgmental commenters and post about it anyways?

I’m not sure.

And if I can’t be honest with my own, poorly-maintained WordPress site then really, who can I be honest with?*

I want to be honest.

I want to write about absolutely hating a lot of places which I had felt pressured to love.

I want to write about the things I’ve done which would cause most mothers to shake their head and say to themselves, “Shit. I’m so glad my own daughter didn’t turn out like that.”

I want to write stories in a similar fashion to my in-person demeanor. Slightly offensive. But with 3/4 good intentions. And throwing in descriptors like “tops” which are sort of catchy in the way that you will inevitably find yourself dropping them nonchalantly in conversations next week.

So I’m done pretending to enjoy certain parts of Thailand. I’m over keeping it a secret that I spent a week on an island in Indonesia stealing other people’s flip-flops because I had lost my own. I’m sick of trying to write about my travels in a chronological order for the sake of sequential organization.

The only thing I’m still really into are justifications.

Because those handy excuses?

Well, they’re pretty much tops.

*The truth is, LOADS of people. Turns out, I’m pretty open about my own achievements with the whole “think later” methodology. But I was trying to be dramatic. I think it worked.

27 thoughts on “The Secret’s Out: I’m a Shit “Travel Blogger”

    • That story is coming. Just right after I tell the one about me breaking in to a hostel at daybreak.

      Also, there has got to be some kind of award for fastest commenter. Because you sir, are a quick one!

  1. This post is pretty tops. I actually neglected my blog for a long time because I wanted to write in chronological order, and more stuff kept happening, and then I didn’t know where to start. So I didn’t. Now I just write in an ordered chaos kind of way and I like to think I keep my readers on their toes. “Oh, we’re back to Australia today? Cool.”

    • I’m glad you think all readers are easy-going and logical thinkers.

      Unfortunately for me, I assume that if I didn’t write chronologically, people would just think that my travel route was similar to a kindergartner’s scribbling on a map. Which actually isn’t too far off from the truth…

      • Haha, I did mention it in a post just before I started going super random on them. So they were warned. And yeah, mine isn’t the most logical either. (last legs I did were Singapore – US – Australia – Paris — I think that’s exactly what a kindergartner would draw…)

    • I made exactly the same mistake Edna. Before I knew it, I was almost a year into my travels and I hadn’t written much at all. Still backtracking posts, when I remember what happened.

      ’tis why everyone advocates slow travel. Taking a few hours a day to write.

  2. I love this! I’m fairly new to blogging and have so many experiences I want to write about but I don’t know where to begin. I want it to make sense. I struggle with being correct grammatical correct pretty much ever sentence. I’m really glad that its not just me!

  3. ha, and yours is the first “travel blog” i’ve come across and actually been interested in. i’m new-ish to blogging and my travels don’t even start until august, but i’ve already had this same discussion with myself.

  4. It’s your blog, you can do it any damn way you want to. Whether you realise it or not, your blog already has a jumping around kind of edginess to it, which I suspect reflects your personality, so just go with it. Chronological only works if you have the discipline to do it, if you don’t then just embrace your inner kindergartener and post when and what you feel like. God forbid everyone’s blog looked the same…..

    • Your comment makes me feel all teenage anarchist-like. “This is MY blog! I’m going to renegade over EVERYTHING!” (But you know, in a slightly less-aggressive, not throwing bricks through Starbucks’ windows sort-of-way.)

      Thank you for thinking I have edginess. In real-life, my bangs are probably the only edgy thing about me…

  5. Do what you want, hun. We still love your writing no matter what you’re writing about – I’m a lazy blogger too and am never afraid to say, ‘Well, actually everyone loved this place but I thought it sucked balls.’ You should do the same. Do what you want, when you want. :D

  6. Hahaha, I think ordered chaos is the way to go because then at least you can write what you want when you want! Travel is about experience not about record, this should always come second so take as much time off as you need!

  7. Hello fantastic blog! Does running a blog like this require a large amount of work?
    I have absolutely no knowledge of computer programming but I was hoping to start my own blog soon.
    Anyway, should you have any suggestions or techniques for new blog owners please share.
    I know this is off subject but I simply wanted to ask.
    Many thanks!

  8. Pingback: the lazy travelers | no travel required

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