“He’ll probably use a name that’s easy to remember.”
Oh, Crap.
“And he’ll definitely tell you that he just met other travellers from your home country.”
No, no, no.
The staff at the hotel thought that predicting the behaviours of our auto rickshaw driver would be a fun game to play. I just felt like I was watching myself on an episode of some Just for Laughs comedy sketch.
The uh, prankster (so to speak) was a man calling himself “Mr. Baboo” and not surprisingly, claimed to have met two Canadians the day prior.
There’s no way Mr. Baboo scammed us. It’s probably just a fluke. I mean, he waited for us as we frantically scrambled through the Varanasi Train Station. And he even tried to calm me down after I had actively convinced myself that I would be stuck in Varanasi for the rest of my 20’s. (This is only a slight exaggeration. We were a big hot mess of we-need-outta-here fury. And since this was also during the holy Durga Puja Festival, it meant that even the locals were a big hot mess. Everyone wanted to go somewhere. And no one seemed content on waiting in a designated line to get there.)
But Mr. Baboo was there for us! There’s no way he could have scammed us. Just as long as they don’t say something about him taking us to that silk factory museum.
“Did he take you to the silk factory museum?”
….
Having been in India for a little over two weeks now, I felt like I was starting to understand the scammers, quickly weasel my way out of some potential scams, and had even given myself some ground rules to avoid getting fooled.
Always have your guard up. Avoid getting your fortune told by the Nicolas Cage fanatic in Darjeeling’s local bar. And never EVER think that just because that man claims to be hockey fan means that you can trust him. Because if you do, he might just try to steal all your stuff the minute you get up to use the bathroom.
Of course the hotel guys’ predictions were dead-on. I had fallen for one of the most translucent and widespread scams in Varanasi.
Driver drives you around all day. Driver asks if you want to take a boat ride on the Ganges River. Driver quotes you a ridiculous price but tells you that he can probably get it for half that if you go to an unpopulated part of the river. Because you know, he’s a local and all.
Silly you just wants to do everything by the cheapest means by possible. But at the same time, silly you is getting slightly irritated with the routine custom of being quoted prices that are 400 times inflated and having to be a relentless barterer for anything of interest. Silly you believes the driver and doesn’t question (NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND) when he takes you to a group of dudes and starts speaking to them in Hindi. Silly you gets in the boat and starts paddling away.
Silly you gets scammed.
IN YO’ FACE, SILLY YOU!
Watching Mr. Baboo get passed a serious wad of rupees in exchange for handing over two foolish foreigners as we frantically paddled away (again, big hot messes) was brutal. It sucks knowing that you are a gullible foreigner whose susceptibility to pranks like this will only encourage future everyone-is-in-on-it scams. But it’s also incredibly hard to concentrate on the scams when there’s a water buffalo bathing right in the path of rowing.
Varanasi is a city where quite literally, people go to die.
Not in the same way that when my socks want to die, they go to the Laundromat.
But more in the way that this is a place of sacred pilgrimage for a ton of diverse religions like Hindus, Buddhists, and Jains. A place where millions (no exaggeration) make their way to the Ganges river, bathe in the water, remit their sins, pay homage to their ancestors, and relish in the sacredness of Varanasi. Hospices and other holy sanctions occupy a lot of the buildings which dot the river’s edge, serving as a final resting point for those whose days are becoming fewer and fewer.
So really, nothing at all like my socks.
It’s difficult to conceive the possibility of India’s holiest city also playing host to a multitude of scams…right on the steps of salvation. But a lot of things become confusing when you witness bodies being cremated into the same river that serves as a wading pool for a bunch of playful toddlers.
To me, Varanasi became a difficult place to understand.
Some bodies are cremated in the burning ghats and then released into the river. But if you cannot afford the wood to incinerate a body, or if you fall under another category of people whose bodies are not cremated (pregnant women, children under 5, holy men, people with leprosy, who have committed suicide, or have been bitten by a snake, oh yes, and all animals, including cows), then your body is fully released into the river to naturally decompose.
Which explains the full bodies and body parts we saw floating by as we paddled across the river.
Varanasi is a place with heaps of others tourists, almost all of whom are from somewhere in India. These families surround themselves with the blessings of this city, and take in the Agni Pooja (Worship to Fire) celebration, a performance which happens every single night of the year.
I don’t think Varanasi was one of my favourite places in India. Nor am I that confident I’ll ever go back there.
But it’s definitely one of the more memorable.
Yeah, definitely not the same as the Laundromat.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:32 pm
I think ‘Don’t trust anyone’ is a bit unfair and extreme, but yes, it does make sense to keep your guard up – as should anyone in any foreign situation.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:54 pm
You’re totally right. It is completely unfair and extreme.
At that point in India, I was still being extremely extreme (ha?) and trying to navigate my own naivety. It was more to communicate that even if I had set these extremist rules for myself, things will still happen.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:52 pm
been there although I’ve never been handed off onto a boat. well, not in India either, but scammed (in Morocco). at some point I was just like, “hey, so maybe I just wasted twenty bucks, but that’s twenty bucks I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to waste back in America, and I got to see a cobra dancing to a pipe.” all about the experience!
January 27th, 2012 at 12:03 am
word.
I’m all for the experiences over you know, stuff.
And if gives me content to write about here? EVEN BETTER.
January 27th, 2012 at 2:38 am
your post made me laugh remembering the autorickshaw driver that majorly scammed me in mysore. worst of all, most of it (except getting carted around to some back alley oil seller) was related to my own overestimation of what i should pay him. he had me feeling so sorry for him i was practically ready to send him home with presents for his wife and family. this guy was a total pro!! that said.. things seemed to get easier when i finally gave in and accepted the fact that no matter what, i was going to get ripped off at least once a day in india, and usually more frequently than that. what a trip that place was. thanks for sharing your journey.
January 31st, 2012 at 3:55 am
I think that’s exactly the trick!
Just accept that it will happen and move on.
Actually, I have that same mentality about getting lost in a new city, too. Except the whole ‘moving on’ part becomes a lot more difficult. Mainly because it just involves getting even more lost…
January 28th, 2012 at 7:47 pm
I’m such a trusting person that I know there are dozens of countries in the world where I *will* get scammed. I fell into a trick or two in Istanbul and it’s hard to be guarded constantly. It’s hard not to smile or be friendly.
Despite the challenges, I’m still loving reading about your experiences in India as you paint great pictures.
January 31st, 2012 at 3:59 am
Being guarded ALL the time means that you miss out on opportunities like father/daughter photo shoots.
Varanasi was especially difficult to write about given my limited repertoire in describing cities that are indescribable. See? Even that right there doesn’t make ANY sense!
That’s it! I’m sticking to using words like “nice” and “bad” when I talk about new places. That still makes for an interesting read, right? Right?!
January 31st, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I’m kind of still stuck on the floating body parts thing. Did it smell?!
February 1st, 2012 at 7:37 pm
It’s difficult to say.
I’ve never smelt a burning body before (I know), so it was really hard to determine smell culprits. Plus, the whole city smelt like fantastic incense, making it even more difficult to smell anything foul.
January 31st, 2012 at 4:42 pm
toothbrush-
then, can you recommend another place to be snake-bitten?
February 1st, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Unfortunately, I’m no expert on reptilian hot spots.
However, I AM an expert on injury-laden travel. So if you’re aiming for medical emergency/ future scars, I’d head to Sarawak, Borneo. All kinds of dangerous snakes, just looking to treat your leg like a cob of corn.
February 2nd, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Aww that’s too bad to hear. Don’t worry about getting scammed, think of it as a cultural experience. Afterall whatever money they made was probably a lot to them and not much to you.
February 3rd, 2012 at 2:18 pm
You’re right.
And the way I think of it, I would have just spent that money on more fruit shakes. And the last thing I need is another mango fruit shake…
February 2nd, 2012 at 10:11 pm
Shame, but don’t stress! It happens to all of us… even if it is a huge knock to the ego. The scammers learn fast and are good at what they do! Sometimes I just sit back and marvel, and try to convince myself that a skill that developed deserves some kind of remuneration.
February 3rd, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Gosh I wish I had your ability to frame things so positively!
Scamming is such a learned skill. It’s actually more like an art form I guess. And since I kind of really suck at art, getting scammed should really come as no surprise.
February 13th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I’m pretty sure I would have fallen for it, too! I wouldn’t say I’m gullible, but I AM sometimes too trusting for my own good. I suppose there are worse scams to fall for though, right?
February 13th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
I definitely think I got out easy on that one!
There are definitely far worse scams to fall for, though. Unfortunately, Santa Claus is the only one that comes to mind…
February 13th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
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February 14th, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Wonderful post. Despite your warnings, I want to go there. I blame my new Varanasi fascination on your pictures. They’re beautiful.
February 15th, 2012 at 12:42 am
Oh, Varanasi! It was a place that made me easily wish I knew more adjectives to adequately describe it!
But I will take ALL the blame with your new-found fascination!
Well, except the part when you go there and get food poisoning or something. Because that was totally not my fault…
February 15th, 2012 at 1:35 am
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February 17th, 2012 at 11:39 pm
I’ll be heading to Varanasi in the next couple of months. Would you recommend going on a boat ride after everything that happened?! What a strange sight sailing past dead bodies and body parts. Hope you didn’t see any heads!
February 19th, 2012 at 5:48 pm
YES YES YES!
The scams are sort of unavoidable (kind of like the weather) so if you avoid doing things because of the potential of being ripped off, you’ll definitely be missing out on a lot of incredible things in India.
When we were on a boat I thought I saw a head. Turns out it was a mannequin from the previous night’s celebration.
February 22nd, 2012 at 12:03 am
Aww, I’m sorry you got scammed, hun.
It’s so hard because when you go to a country where everything you think is weird is normal there, you want to just trust people when they suggest weird things. You don’t want to be the foreigner who sticks up her nose at unusual – but ‘normal’ – ways of living there so become really gullible and susceptible so scamming. Sucks.
March 13th, 2012 at 9:41 am
But it made for a good blog post, right??
February 26th, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Am sorry to hear about the scam, but in all honesty it is important to keep guarded most of the time. India is a tough place especially when your focus tends to be at their remarkable culture and landscape. Had missed Varanasi in my itinerary. Didn’t know there’s floating bodies in the river. That must be really freaky..
March 11th, 2012 at 9:46 am
Pretty indescribable experience…
February 29th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
If you felt like paying the amount you did was worth it at the time, you really can’t consider it be scammed, just the avenue you took. This kind of business goes on everywhere, even here in the states. Vegas is really famous for it, but any major city has the same process. Taxi drivers getting kickback to take tourist to certain clubs. Concierge rack up free meals and services daily. It’s just a form a business and if you want the customer, you better find the person who can send them to you.
March 13th, 2012 at 9:42 am
Right.
March 11th, 2012 at 5:21 pm
It’s impossible to keep track of all the scams. It’s gonna happen, at least you got a good story out of it.
March 11th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
If it wasn’t for this blog, all my awful stories from the road would just seem well, awful.
May 7th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Scams are so annoying! It’s never really the money that gets me but the deceit! It’s hard to learn that those nice friendly people weren’t actually being nice and friendly after all. My friend and I were scammed pretty hard in Thailand by our nice sweet tour guide. She got us a “good price” (several hundred baht) for a boat trip that didn’t take us to where we wanted to go. We ended up having to take a water taxi back and realized that if we’d just taken a water taxi in the first place we would have gone where we wanted and only paid 50baht (or so). Oh well.
May 9th, 2012 at 10:11 pm
I feel like the “oh well” mentality is really all you can do!
Well, that, or redefine your idea of a “good price.”